Conservatives Should Be the Real Party of Choice

By Sara B. Longenecker 

Clips from a graduation speech given by Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker went viral this week, and social media comments from the Left are at a usual shrill pitch. What did the NFL player dare say at Benedictine College, a private Catholic school in Atchison, Kansas, to the graduates of the class of 2024? While he spoke on a range of topics (ie; the corrupt leadership during COVID, “bad policies…such as abortion, IVF,  surrogacy, euthanasia,” and more), his overall charge was one of a renewed integrity for the Catholic church, courage in the face of an antagonistic culture, and the mark of true leadership. But the one comment that seemed to set people off the most was one directed at the female graduates. 

Butker said, 

“For the ladies present today, congratulations on an amazing accomplishment. You should be proud of all that you have achieved to this point in your young lives. I want to speak directly to you briefly because I think it is you, the women, who have had the most diabolical lies told to you. 

How many of you are sitting here now, about to cross this stage, and are thinking about all the promotions and titles you are going to get in your career? Some of you may go on to lead successful careers in the world, but I would venture to guess that the majority of you are most excited about your marriage and the children you will bring into this world. 

I can tell you that my beautiful wife Isabelle would be the first to say that her life truly started when she began living her vocation as a wife and as a mother. I’m on this stage today and able to be the man I am because I have a wife who leans into her vocation. I’m beyond blessed with the many talents God has given me, but it cannot be overstated that all of my success is made possible because a girl I met in band class back in middle school, who would convert to the faith and become my wife, and embrace one of the most important titles of all. Homemaker. [Applause] 

She’s a primary educator to our children. She’s the one who ensures I never let football or my business become a distraction from that of a husband and father. She is the person who knows me best at my core, and it is through our marriage that Lord willing, we will both attain salvation. 

I say all of this to you because I have seen it firsthand how much happier someone can be when they disregard the outside noise and move closer and closer to God’s will in their life. Isabelle’s dream of having a career might not have come true, but if you ask her today if she has any regrets on her decision, she would laugh out loud without hesitation and say heck no.” 

This sentiment, one of sincere honor and adulation of his wife’s vocational choice, seems to be a step too far for our enlightened age. How dare he give a platform and imbue value to the job of mothering and homemaking?? The left’s visceral reaction to Butker’s speech is a glaring example of what most women feel every day – that our innate desire to do the work of mothering (and do it well) is not valued by society as “real work.” Even though the left likes to spout the “choice” mantra, in reality, they offer one prescribed path for a woman: delay motherhood as long as possible or reject it entirely for selfish gain. Use every medical tool available to maintain yourself on the path of “success” (success: what they define as appropriately modern, defeminized autonomy) for as long as you can, and if a baby gets in the way, get rid of it or minimize the disruption as much as possible. And if you want to be a devoted wife and mother, and also pursue other kinds of work outside of your home? Forget about finding your tribe of support, you are politically homeless. 

We conservatives do our best to cut through the noise and reject the outright lies, yet I keep coming back to this question: what if the right became the voice of true choice? What if we embraced the myriad of options for women to pursue a successful life… success according to a higher standard (you know, the transcendental standard of truth, beauty, and goodness?) What if we worked to find ways through policy, community efforts, familial support, and spiritual discipleship to advance the goal of valuing a woman’s choice to mother her children? She can live a life that looks a hundred different ways and still find this kind of success; it will even look different as the seasons of her life change. 

Here is what I want to say to the ladies: there is no invisible line between the left and the right side of womanhood. They don’t “get to have” business and academia and medicine and the arts while we are “stuck” with mommying and volunteering at our local church or parish. From my point of view, I can sense there is a cultural undercurrent happening right now that is inspiring many women, despite their political leanings, to chart their path toward a more open, flexible, and fluid vocational life. Career pauses are on the rise, and in some circles, there is a complete rejection of the idea of a “career” in favor of the entrepreneurial, multi-potentiality, or homemaking life. Research on early childhood attachment supports the common sense theory that babies need their mommas — and women across the political spectrum know it to be true. We want to be with our kids, especially in those early, formative years. But guess what? We are also fully individual people – women with dreams and ideas and goals for our lives. We want to make an impact on the world, and we have ideas on ways we can contribute. 

We know the foul roots of 20th-century feminism pitted a woman’s ambition against her own child, and the rotten fruit of that movement has given us the medusa of Planned Parenthood, Plan B, Nasty Women, and Girlboss culture. While many on the left view pregnancy and children as a disruption to the career track, we have an opportunity to shift the narrative to bring the family into the forefront of the definition of success. And as every mother reading this knows, creating and maintaining a thriving family takes work. Real work. And I’m grateful that Harrison and Isabelle Butker are public examples of this high calling. 

As conservatives, we will continue to uphold the importance of family values, support working families, and prioritize limited government intervention in business affairs. Yes, child care is an economic issue for working families, but it isn’t only that; children are much more than dependants to account for in our monthly budget. Caring for them is a long term investment, both personally and socially, and they are unique souls that we have been given stewardship over. While the left touts paid paternity leave as its golden ticket, we on the right have been cautious about mandates on private employers in favor of policies that incentivize employers to offer paid parental leave voluntarily rather than through government mandates. 

But I find myself asking for more. How can we work to bring a greater cultural respect for our contribution as women, and for the family overall? What policies, education, advocacy, or local services can we create to promote respect and dignity for parents, children, and the traditional family? The inherent value of our work life isn’t in conflict with the value of a healthy family; after all, God charged both Adam and Eve to cultivate the garden of flourishing together. But we will have to rethink linear and outdated ideas of success, careers, and vocation. We will have to get creative, proactive, and even entrepreneurial for the sake of everyone’s flourishing. We will have to have courage and unapologetically chart a new path forward. 

Sara B. Longenecker holds a B.A. in Bible and Theology and is a professional development consultant for national pro-life organizations. She resides just outside of Nashville, TN with her husband and three boys. Sara enjoys paper books, classic movies, attending Nashville Soccer Club games with her family, and inspiring women to reach their full God-given potential for His glory!