The Jonah Hill Drama: Stop Airing Your Dirty Laundry Online
By Patricia Patnode
A lot has happened with Jonah Hill in the last week. Famous for being the chubby sidekick in 21 Jump Street and other comedy movies, Hill was recently accused of being a no-good control freak by an ex-girlfriend.
Sarah Brady, a professional surfer and influencer, released a trove of texts from when she dated the actor that aimed to expose his mistreatment of her. She decided to leak these messages just after Hill announced the birth of his baby with his new girlfriend.
They depicted Hill as a monster who placed unreasonable constraints on Brady’s life. In one Instagram DM exchange, Hill upbraids Brady for keeping a picture of her surfing in a cheeky one-piece on her Instagram after their relationship became official. Months prior, Hill had swooned over the same exact photo in her DMs while they were still lightheartedly e-flirting, the screenshots suggest.
When you date a celebrity, their stardom often follows you many years after a break-up. There are still “Where are they now?” blogs and YouTube videos being made about Justin Bieber’s teenage ex-girlfriends, like Selena Gomez. It’s possible Brady was bothered that Hill is praised in the media for being a happy, funny guy. Clearly, she felt it was time to bust the façade.
Hill’s texts are damning. But context is important, and Brady provided very little. While we don’t know how guilty Hill is, Brady leaking private conversations when there was an expectation of confidentiality indicates poor character on her part. Even if Hill was toxic or manipulative, Brady would have been wise to provide ample evidence.
For example, in the latest scandal with conservative personality Steven Crowder, there’s video to prove his abuse. That footage, which featured Crowder berating his pregnant wife like a maniac, left no ambiguity as to who was in the wrong and who was in the right.
But it’s also worth asking if this culture of people dumping their grievances on the internet is a good one. Sometimes, people are genuinely asking for advice and help. Other times, they’re just fishing for affirmation from strangers.
For example, the Am I The Asshole (ATIA) Reddit page is infamous for randoms soliciting anonymous feedback about their relationship struggles. Women sometimes describe the bad behavior of a partner in the hopes of getting responses to validate their frustrations. The “I hate my husband!” genre of TikTok, in which women smile and joke about their partners not contributing to household chores or parenting, is another example of people airing way too much dirty laundry online.
To be sure, Hill’s conduct, from the little we can deduct from the messages, deserves some scrutiny. According to the messages, Hill asked Brady to turn down modeling jobs, stop talking to other men, delete Instagram pictures he didn’t like, and stop surfing professionally— give up her career. These requests were made under the guise of him setting “boundaries.”
This is what happens when therapy jargon makes it into the mainstream, justifying all feelings as valid no matter how wrong. Hill made these demands even though he and Brady weren’t married. Under the contract of marriage, they’d both honor stricter rules for interactions with the other sex. Brady would have legal protection via entitlement to his earnings and property.
“This is a classic example of how the language of wellbeing and ‘self-care’ can be misconstrued,” Kristina Murkett wrote for Unherd. “Hill’s messages are not about setting boundaries, but instead setting a list of demands. Boundaries are values and limits you impose on yourself and your own behavior, not rules that can then be enforced on other people.”
Patricia Patnode is a columnist at The Conservateur and a Junior Fellow at the Independent Women's Forum. She can be found on Twitter @IdealPatricia.
