The Mystery of "Dark Triad" Men
By Patricia Patnode
It’s easy to use words like sociopath, narcissist, or gaslighter to describe ex-boyfriends we ended on poor terms with. But how do we recognize these romantic villains? We need to catch them early, before we’ve fallen for their charms.
Behold: the Dark Triad. This concept is a way to identify the bad boys, so we can reject relationships with them. It refers to a set of personality traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathy. The three are characterized by self-centeredness, manipulative behavior, and lack of empathy, respectively.
The term was coined in 2002 by researchers Paulhus and Williams. Dr. Jordan Peterson and other popular psychologists have discussed it in recent lectures and interviews.
Narcissism has been addressed by Alex Cooper on her cult podcast Call Her Daddy. In one episode, she and a psychologist try to answer a question for listeners: “Is my boyfriend a narcissit?” Psychopathy, meaning a lack of empathy, is more examined in true crime podcasts and on murder plot shows like Criminal Minds.
It's possible to exhibit some of these tendencies and habits without meeting the criteria for a diagnosis of a Dark Triad personality disorder. The Dark Triad exists on a spectrum. People can possess varying degrees of these traits. Everyone, actually, has a mix of positive and negative personality traits. It is the intensity and persistence of these traits on one's behavior and relationships that determine their power.
College-aged women, who often have limited experience with suitors or professional knowledge, may be susceptible to peacocking gaslighters under the Dark Triad tree.
When you don't yet know the working world, it’s easy to believe that the handsome paralegal at your local firm is running the show or that the ambitious campaign volunteer will one day change the country.
Dark Triad traits can give the impression of high executive function and mask laziness and incompetence or passivity with empty posturing.
Some studies have found a positive association between Dark Triad traits, especially narcissism, and short-term mating success or initial attraction. These studies suggest that individuals with Dark Triad traits may have characteristics such as confidence, charisma, and assertiveness that can appeal to potential partner.
However, other studies have found mixed or null results, indicating that the relationship between Dark Triad traits and attraction is more nuanced. Attraction is a complex phenomenon influenced by factors including individual preferences, cultural norms, personal experiences, and relationship goals. The role of Dark Triad traits in attraction is still an area of ongoing research and debate within psychology.
Turning from scientific studies to the anecdotal, many people know a jerk who is dating a nice girl. Manipulative behavior, particularly gaslighting, runs rampant in the dating scene.
It’s important to develop self-awareness, empathy, and a code of ethics to mitigate the negative impacts of these traits. Psychology, like every social science, is imperfect. While we should consider psychologists' findings, we should also remember that the human personality is dynamic and complex, and that categorizing people into distinct types may be oversimplifying.
There is no universally accepted model or theory of personality types. There are multiple personality type frameworks, such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), Enneagram, and DISC, which each has its own set of categories and constructs.
Powerful, influential, and wealthy men are not necessarily always jerks. One study that surveyed professional male fighters and regular college-aged guys showed no significant correlations between winning percentages for professional fighters and Machiavellianism, psychopathy, or narcissism. One interpretation is that those personality traits had no effect on work ethic and talent.
However, we know for certain when someone makes us feel bad.
Carefully look at his friends. If he has few, or none, think about why. If he seems to only have friends whom he met recently, meaning no long term friends or friends from earlier phases of life, figure out why that is.
Look for traits that speak to someone's rationality, confidence, honor, and responsibility, not just traits that are markers of power.
Patricia Patnode is a columnist at The Conservateur and a Junior Fellow at the Independent Women's Forum. She can be found on Twitter @IdealPatricia.
media via Peirott, le Fou (1965)
