The Magnanimous Elegance of Martha Washington

By Ximena Ramirez

To better understand history, look to fashion. Throughout time, the clothes we wear have sparked imagination and shaped social relations. A designer’s choice of cut, color, and shape has the power to redefine a person’s identity, creating a silent narrative. Even those who claim not to notice fashion are unconsciously influenced by it. It shapes how they see others and, in turn, how they respond to them. Fashion is more than fabric and thread; it is a powerful social and political tool. Martha Washington understood this deeply. With her careful attention to both fashion and etiquette, she set a standard that continues to shape the role of First Ladies today.

A Stylish Beginning

Martha Dandridge was born in 1731 to the upper eschelons of colonial Virginia. As the daughter of a prominent planter, she grew up amid the refined customs of the colonial gentry, where lessons in etiquette, dancing, and household management were as essential as grace and wit.

Her childhood was a happy one, filled with sunny days spent exploring the countryside on horseback and enjoying the natural beauty of her family’s estate. These early influences shaped a woman who would one day move effortlessly through the social and political spheres of a new nation, leaving a lasting mark as its first First Lady.

After her marriage to George Washington in 1759, Martha moved to Mount Vernon, where she became known for her hospitality and ability to manage a bustling household. Their home became a center of social activity, hosting gatherings where Martha ensured everything ran smoothly, from the refreshments to the atmosphere. Abigail Adams, no stranger to the demands of high society, described Martha as having “a most becoming pleasantness . . . [She is] the object of veneration and respect” (Letters of Abigail Adams, 1776-1818).

The Washingtons encouraged thoughtful conversations among their guests, welcoming both men and women into the exchange, and Martha was known to hold her own in political discussions. One visitor to Mount Vernon noted that Mrs. Washington made “pointed, and sometimes very sarcastic” remarks about the administration of Thomas Jefferson, a political rival whose opposing views on federal power clashed with George Washington’s throughout their lives (Diary of Gouverneur Morris).

Dancing Through Life

Martha loved to dance and adored fashion. She and George Washington attended countless balls throughout their life. Both were known as excellent dancers, often becoming the center of attention at social events, gleefully dancing with radiant smiles and entertaining their guests with natural charm and elegance.

Martha always dressed impeccably for these occasions, adorned in luxurious English fabrics and delicate silks. Her ensembles featured intricate embroidery, lace trims, and rich brocades, accentuating her poise and sophistication. She wore rare and exquisite jewels, adding brilliance to her striking presence. These evenings were far more than mere social obligations; they were moments of true joy and connection, showcasing the couple’s grace and ability to unify those around them.

Culture and Refinement at Home

Martha approached the arts with a sense of both leisure and intention, seeking to raise her children with an appreciation for artistry, intellect, and refinement. Encouraging them to practice musical instruments was central to this vision, ensuring they cultivated creative skills and a deep regard for pursuits that enriched their upbringing and fostered a well-rounded life. Beyond music, she instilled in her children an understanding of hospitality and grace, emphasizing the importance of creating environments where others felt valued and respected —a hallmark of her character that extended from Mount Vernon to the White House.

A Revolutionary Powerhouse

Her first introduction to public life might surprise you. During the Revolutionary War, she often joined then-General Washington on the road, choosing to leave the comfort of their luxurious home and immerse herself in the struggles of the Continental Army. Martha embraced humility and resilience, organizing camp stations, caring for wounded soldiers, and mending uniforms. Not only was it hard work, but it was also dangerous. Martha had her own assigned guard, as her capture or even death could have been a boon for the British forces seeking to destabilize the leadership of the revolutionary cause.

Tragically, Martha’s own son Jack died during the war, falling victim to camp fever, a common contagion in the crowded military camps. Despite her grief, Martha composed herself and, without the benefit of modern media training like today’s First Ladies, showed up to help however she could, strengthening the morale of the earliest Gold Star families. Her actions exemplified courage and compassion, qualities that solidified her place as a revolutionary figure in her own right.

America’s First, First Lady

One of her first tasks as First Lady was to help coordinate the presidential hosting schedule. Martha decided to greet guests twice a week and host an annual New Year’s party. Upon hosting, she crafted an etiquette that had to be formal enough to earn the respect of global dignitaries while also drawing a clear distinction that the First Family would not carry itself like a royal one.

Her fashion choices reflected this vision. Martha opted for simple, modest attire even though she could have easily flaunted her wealth. She ditched royal customs like curtsying and bowing. Even her china was notably modest, standing in contrast to the elegant collections so highly sought after by the elite.

In portraits from her time in the White House, Martha is portrayed with her hair neatly tucked beneath a cap, exuding an air of humility and composure. This understated image contrasts sharply with the more elaborate and fashionable representations of her earlier years, reflecting a mature evolution in her public persona.

This evolution in values is most evident in George Washington’s statement in a 1790 letter to Catharine Sawbridge Macaulay Graham: “Her wishes coincide with my own as to simplicity of dress and everything which can tend to support propriety of character without partaking of the follies of luxury and ostentation.”

By this time, the Washingtons were nearing their 60s, older and wiser after decades of public service and private life shaping their outlook. Fashion, for them, was no longer merely about social status but a deliberate reflection of character and values.

Martha Washington firmly believed in the intellectual ideals that shaped the new republic — equality, the power of the people, and the rejection of aristocratic excess. Together, the Washingtons embraced a simpler elegance, setting aside indulgence in favor of purpose and embodying the values of a young America.

Ximena Ramirez is a lifelong lover of fashion and a thoughtful explorer of history, often reflecting on its relevance to today’s world. She enjoys the simple pleasures of life, especially hosting dinner parties for old and new friends. In her spare time, she loves spending time in nature, practicing yoga, and getting lost in art museums. She can be found on Instagram at @Ximenaaffogato.