Lessons from a Social Media Fast

Alex Soria

The following is a letter of encouragement. I hope that it inspires you to try a social media cleanse, and reconnect with what makes you human. Here’s what I’ve learned, felt, and realized:

1). The things we see on social media are not normal. 

I had an eye-opening conversation with my dad after dropping a few things off at the cleaners in our town. He said that each person in a town plays a role. The dry-cleaner washes and presses the clothes, my dad drives the bus, I teach the kids, the garbageman picks up the trash, the doctor sees us when we’re sick, and so on. Each person in a town contributes to taking care of the whole. This “it takes a village” dynamic still exists, but modern life has made individuals atomized from their communities.

Do you happen to know your local dry-cleaner by name? Have you ever had a conversation with your mailman? How well do you know your neighbor? 

Upon hearing my morning alarm, I used to instinctively open my phone to social media. Scrolling was once a large chunk of my morning routine. Before my first cup of coffee, I had already seen a year’s worth of human turmoil, joy, and indulgence. 

Over the last three weeks, the veil has been lifted from my eye. I realize now that seeing the lives of thousands of strangers on a daily basis is far from the normal human experience. We weren’t meant to scroll through videos of distraught women trauma-dumping in the passenger seat (mini tripod obscured from view) or children covered in blood after bombings in Gaza or golden retrievers playing with babies within seconds of opening an app. It is deeply unnatural to consume such a variety of content in moments. 

The algorithm is playing with our spirit. The extremes have become normalized. The human race is quickly becoming desensitized. The desperation for viewership and attention has us in a chokehold. 

Truth be told, I wouldn’t feel comfortable enough to sit down and have coffee with 90% of the people that I follow on Instagram because I don’t know them. What about you? How did we end up in this strange dance of following and follower? 

The bottom line: No, it isn’t normal to have impulses to record and post yourself crying in a car. Nor is it normal to experience a concert through a phone camera. It is not normal to feel an urge to constantly share where you are and who you’re with. The temptations to do these things speaks to a larger, societal problem. 

2). You become the media that you consume.

I was reminded of the toll that the media takes on our mental and spiritual health after reading former ICarly star Jennette McCurdy’s memoir I’m Glad My Mom Died. 

The account was interesting and heart-breaking. In the days that followed, I went about my normal routine. Soon, I found myself unable to shake a spell of sadness. After a few days it clicked. I realized that the book had deeply affected me and I was annoyed at the fact that I hadn’t put two-and-two together sooner. 

Then the bigger picture hit me. What about everything else in my life that I had been consuming for years? How has that impacted me, my view of the world, and my perception of what life should be? 

It didn’t take much time at all to reflect on social media’s effects on me: body dysmorphia, peer comparison, feeling behind, thinking I’m a bad runner, resentment, thinking the world is ending, feeling extreme bouts of bitterness towards people, thinking that all people are evil, believing there’s no hope for humanity, feeling angry at my students, feeling ungrateful, feeling like life is flying by. 

By stepping back from social media, Instagram in particular, I no longer cared about influencers. The only people I interacted with were either right in front of me or just a phone call away. Day after day, I felt better. Better mood. Happier thoughts. THANKFUL thoughts! Granted I didn’t know what was going on in the lives of the Kardashian-Jenners, Taylor Swift or Alix Earle. 

But honestly, did I care? Why did I ever care in the first place? About so-and-so’s political views? Or so-and-so’s new podcast? Don’t get me wrong, I am truly happy to see people be joyful and share good news. But over the course of human existence, why would I ever have known this information if it weren’t for social media? I realized that most of the content I consumed had not contributed to my life in any sort of meaningful way. So why continue to watch on, idly? 

Let this be a call to divert your full attention to who or what is directly in front of you. To wholeheartedly listen and engage. To build meaningful relationships. To make eye-contact. To say thank you. To share good and bad news. To offer support. To be human.

3). Life slows down without social media. 

The days seemed to fly. Before I knew it, my birthday would come and go and I still hadn’t figured out a way to slow down. One night while praying, I asked God to show me how to slow down.

This year God answered my prayer. 

What prompted me to begin a social media fast was a church program. The congregation could choose from a variety of fasts, ranging from foods, alcohol, and other habits people were looking to break. Fasting is incredible because it draws us closer to God so that we can lean on Him for support and deepen our faith. This fast showed me what I was looking for.

We waste an incredible amount of time scrolling. Thirty minutes before we get out of bed. At work. Driving. Watching our favorite shows. While out with friends at a restaurant. Talking on the phone with a loved one. These were all instances where I interrupted conversation. Why? Was it to see some influencer’s thirst trap or to see an ad for skincare? 

Then I asked myself: what am I even looking for? Clearly I must be looking for something. For an answer? 

For the first couple of days of the fast, I kept grabbing my phone and opening it. Muscle memory led me to the places where the apps used to be before I locked my phone and put it back down. Once that habit was broken, I realized how much time I actually had. Before, I’d complain about having no time and now, before my very eyes, I had stopped wasting the time that I did have. 

This new time allowed me to be present. Now I could fully engage in conversations, actively listen to podcasts, read, and journal. I could do the things that I like to do without constant distraction. Life slowed down and, yes, it’s absolutely lovely.

4). Clarity

Without the constant distractions, I’ve felt a sense of peace and clarity on the trajectory of my life. Family, my personal values, my relationship with God, and my goals have come into focus the most over the last 21 days. Without the bombardment of content, I could listen to the voice inside of myself. I could clearly hear what it is that I want, that I hope for, that I care about. None of what my inner voice spoke had anything to do with what I had consumed on social media over the last ten years. 

Final Thoughts

I strongly encourage everyone to reflect on their lives for a moment. Consider the following: 

Do I scroll while I’m watching my favorite show? While I’m driving? While I’m on the phone with a loved one? While I’m in the middle of conversations? 

If the answer to any of these questions is “yes,” like it was for me, do this fast. This means that social media has invaded your life and is affecting your relationships with others. It is affecting how and what you think. It affects your ability to hear God in your life. 

Turn down social media’s volume in your life. I promise you, you will be able to hear what is meant for you. 

Be a strong example for others. People follow people. When your kids see you consumed by the phone, they will mimic you. When you’re with your family or talking on the phone with a loved one, give them your undivided attention. They deserve all of you. The best of you. Social media has more sinister purposes than funny videos and connecting with friends. Be brave enough to ask what those purposes are.